Bad day.

Wow. Today is the day I would call a “bad day.”

My day started off with taking the physics quiz and not knowing shit on it. Then one of my best friends officially broke it off with his girlfriend. And then I found out that the guy I liked actually liked somebody else. What I’m writing is quite trite, but trust me, the situations were a lot crappier than how simple they sound in words. I also planned to get a lot of studying done since I have an exam Monday, but by the end of all this mess I just didn’t have the heart to. So, I commuted back home. If that wasn’t enough, I went to Walgreens to buy a pack of twizzlers and on the way home the entire thing fell out of its packaging and on to the ground. I also bought new earphones for my cellphone since the other ones I had hurt my ears. But as soon as I connected them into my phone, I didn’t know what the hell happened but my phone froze and I heard a loud vibrating sound. All of a sudden, everything was erased from my phone. My pictures, music - everything! What. The. Fuck. So then I was like, okay, whatever, I’ll just reupload everything. When I connected my phone to the computer, the phone kept telling me to insert a memory card - even though the memory card was already in it. It was hopeless, so I gave up. The only thing I was thankful for was the fact that my contacts weren’t erased.

Man, I had a crappy day.

Physics & Friends.

Friends + Physics = ?

I wish I could understand my friends like I can understand the concepts of physics. Right now, I feel like a particle moving along an x-axis without any displacement. In other words, zero work is being done.

See how confusing that is?

I don’t understand how friends can be so contradicting at times. I hate thinking badly about my friends so I try to understand the situation that’s presented in front of me, but no matter how much I try to make light of the matter, nothing seems to work. Especially when I know it’s my friends’ fault, and I keep telling myself that maybe he or she didn’t know what he or she was doing was wrong. But no matter what, I still feel like that person has treated me like crap.

I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.

I’m just going to stick with what one of my friends told me earlier: “It doesn’t matter. That’s not what’s important.”

And he’s right. It doesn’t matter. I gotta focus on other things in my life.

Exam #1.

Friend: “Hey, how was the physics exam?”
Me: “Horrible.”

Yep, that pretty much sums it all up.

SADFL#$@TOP@$UT%)$

@J@$TGKJSRAGK:LJEA

RWRKLGJLERJGgfrLF***!!!!

That feeling.

You ever get that feeling when no matter how much you study, no matter how hard you work, you still don’t know anyhting? That’s how I feel right now with physics. I am able to grasp the concepts and memorize the formulas and I’ve been practicing a lot of problems every night as well. But no matter how much I do, I still feel clueless and confused about this subject. I am still unable to piece together all the pieces and create a larger picture of the whole thing. I can’t seem to take it into perspective and compare it with real life even though all physics problems deal with real-life situations. I had a study group session with my fellow colleagues, Amin and Sun last Thrusday and after asking a lot of questions, Amin went, “I think you’re thinking too much.” I think he’s right. Man, this better be part of the learning process, or I’m gonna shoot someone. What’s funny is that I’ve taken physics in high school, yet, I feel like I never learned any of this. I must have the worst memory of all, or my physics class just sucked ass.

I know it sounds bad so far, but I believe I’m getting through it and learning more step-by-step. (I hope so. I’d like to think positively about all this.) I just wish my mind would process everything faster. We’re going to be having our first multiple-choice test this Thrusday. Of course, I decided to take physics during the summer, knowing that it will be moving at an extremely fast rate, but I definitely didn’t see a quiz in the second week. Luckily, the professor said it wasn’t going to be on problems, it would be on the conceptual side of physics. That gave me a sigh of relief.

Last Friday night, I was walking alone from work and it gave me a surprise when my cellphone started ringing. “Who the hell is calling me at this hour?” I thought to myself. An old-time friend from high school - someone who I haven’t seen in ages and who I nicknamed ‘Shadow’ - gave me a call. He had left a post on my wall saying how he promised he’d call me. At first, I gave it a shrug, thinking that everyone says they would but they never do. But he really did, and I was really happy to receieve it. It’s a wonder how random phone calls can make your day. It shows that a person cares, and it’s sweet to know that someone was thinking of you.

It’s things like these that really act as pick-me-ups. Thanks. <3

Fuckin' fuck fuckers.

I worked an eight-hour shift at Blockbuster tonight and I’m dead tired (I actually just got home and took a shower), but for some reason I decided to write an entry on tumblr.

When it comes to experessing myself, I use many mediums, and this is just one of them.

The coworkers I work with at Blockbuster are really interesting people. They’re all so different from another - and espcially from me. There’s my manager - She has a degree in psychology and I’ve always wondered why the hell she’s working at Blockbuster. And then one awkward afternoon, I was standing behind her in the back supply room - I swear it seemed like we were doing some shady shit; like what my shift-leader would call ‘smokin’ some crack’ - but she suddenly looked up at me and starting speaking to me about her past. It was the weirdest thing ever. Here I was, an employee at Blockbuster, who barely knew anything and here she was giving me her life story. I felt a bit touched, but at the same time, very awkward. I didn’t know what to do but just nod. My shift-leader also had a name for this, calling this, “fuckin’ Blockbuster employee confessions.” Haha, he’s a real funny guy, but I’ll write more about him later. So, there I was shadowed in the dark supply room and her telling me about how she lost her job after 9/11, and how she wasn’t always like this. How she used to be able to fit in a size 4 dress and other stuff like that. I gave her a puppy eyes look, the look that people usually give when they feel like they should feel emotional but in reality you aren’t feeling shit - just confused. However, I’m not a big fan of Emily since she tends to give me a lot of work to do as compared with everyone else.

And then there’s my shift-leader. Sean’s a really cool guy. I work really well with him. He got a degree in Physics from Stonybrook and he plans on leaving Blockbuster as soon as he gets an actual job with his degree. He also adds that this could happen in the next two weeks. I’ll admit I’m gonna miss him. He’s a lot of fun to talk with and a really understanding guy. We once had a deep conversation - which also included another one of our coworkers named Nick - about life and we started having a whole “fuckin’ Blockbuster employee confessions” session. Sean noted he had OCD and how he felt having it. He would count a lot and flip light switches on and off. He also confessed that he tended to repeat certain words a lot. That would explain his common usage of the term ‘fuck’. There was also a tendency for him to think about many things at the same time and imagine objects flying all over the place. When Nick overheard this, he joined in with a “hey, me too!” and started telling how he had OCD too. I was really surprised by all of this because in my eyes, they both seemed pretty normal. Nick, by the way is a another coworker I work really well with. All of a sudden we started talking about psychology and whether or not it really was a science. I told them about my love for psychology and how I read books on that topic on my free time. Nick told me that he did the same, that he couldn’t stand fiction. I was like, “ME TOO!” At that moment, I knew I had finally found my book buddy. He started telling and recommending me all these authors and psychology books and physics books he got. Nick said he’d bring in some of his books and let me borrow em’. I felt ecstatic. I was saving money and getting what I wanted.

In fact, Nick was working today but as soon as I came in, his shift was over. I expressed dissapointment when he told me he had forgotten to bring his books but after he left Blockbuster for awhile, he came back later in changed clothing and brought me books. It was so nice of him to do that, and I must’ve given him the biggest smile. I took a physics book called the ‘Fabric of the Cosmos’ and a psychology book called the ‘Dreaming Universe’ which linked the topic of physics. Sean said that everyone who majored in Physics has read ‘Fabric of the Comos’, so I’m excited to get started on that. It looks really interesting.

After Sean told me that he had a tendency to repeat things, I started to notice that. Especially his use of the word ‘fuck’. I don’t remember how many times, but damn, he said ‘fuck’ a lot tonight. Actually, he tends to curse a lot, but ‘fuck’ seems to be his word priority. He was like, “Fucking Blockbuster, I wanna get the fuck outta here. Fuck this shit.” And we had a conversation that went something like this:

Me: “Hey, um doesn’t Emily want us to transfer out those DVDs before we close the store? But there’s like friggin’ 497 DVDs to transfer…”
Sean: “Oh fuck that shit. I wanna get the fuck outta here. I’m not gonna fuckin’ stay here till fuckin’ 2 in the morning. I got things to do.”

*A silence insues*

Sean: “Fuckin’ blockbuster bitches and hoes!”
Me: O__O; ?

Sean: “I wanna get the fuck outta here! Bitches and hoes!”

Anyways, I’m going to crash. I’ll cover the rest of the employees I work with at a later time.

First post - Summer 08'

First post. I had a livejournal, but I have decided to stick with tumblr instead.

I just started attending summer semester classes at Hunter College. I’m taking Physics along with lab, lecture, and recitation. It has only been 3 days and it’s already getting hectic. So far, the class has had 3 different professors come in to teach the class. The first professor was fired after the 2nd day, so the chairman of the Physics department came in to teach instead. His reason being: “I am sorry, there are not enough good professors.” He had a heavy chinese accent, but he wasn’t that bad. Not as bad as our first professor at least. He would follow the textbook identically without even explaining the concepts of Physics.

At first, I thought getting a new professor was going to be a bad thing. Thinking we were going to get some really hard and boring professor, it was the contrary when I walked in today and was greeted by a jolly man. I could almost compare him to an Indian version of Santa Clause - no sarcasm added. He called himself Professor Ahmed Bawa and as he taught the class chapters 1 and 2, he pounced on the subject with so much enthusiasm, I stayed alert throughout the whole lecture. Surprisingly, he didn’t just stand in front of the overhead projector like some catatonic schizophrenic. He actually walked around and wrote on the whiteboard. Bawa smiled so much through the whole lecture and I could tell right away that he loved what he was doing and most importantly - Physics itself. His first impression has allowed me to give him respect, and I hope it stays that way.

Physics has been interesting, and I’ve been studying and doing a lot of problems in the textbook for practice. I hope all this hard work will pay off in the end. The lab is espcially exciting for me since I have a lot of fun doing all the exercises. Well, without the humor of my lab partners, I wouldn’t have too much fun, so I give them most of the credit for that, haha.

Anyways, I’m tired and….yea.

In the middle of the Physics lecture today, I derived an experiment to make the Grand Canyon into a vaccum and throw a baby elephant off a cliff along with a feather and see if they both land on the ground at the same time. Depending on the time I have, costs of supplies, amounts of resources, legality issues, and hoping animal activists won’t jump me, I’ll see if I can turn this into reality.

*Yawn.*